and we all fall now

you're only as tall as you'll let yourself be.

April 14, 2014 6:26 pm

I had my eyes opened. I came to realize that I had more to offer this world than just making things that blow up. 

(Source: robertdowneyjrs, via robots-and-electric-sheep)

6:23 pm

36slottoaster:

sirlightbulb:

how i imagine all gym teacher ipods:

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(via youaremypeach-youaremyplum)

6:22 pm 6:22 pm 6:16 pm

Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)

  • Dad: Why the hell did you put a comma there?
  • Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is?
  • Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.
  • Dad: Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?
  • Dad: Hey are you awak? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.
  • Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.
  • Dad: I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.
  • Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.
  • Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.
  • Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.
  • Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book.
  • Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.
  • Dad: *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*
  • Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.
  • Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...
  • Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.
  • Dad: I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.
  • Dad: Fuck the government.
  • Dad: Fuck the school board.
  • Dad: Close the door.
  • Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.
  • Dad: I love puns.
  • Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.
  • Dad: Please shut up.
  • Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.
  • Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.
  • Dad: I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.
  • Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.
  • Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.
  • Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.
  • Dad: If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.
  • Dad: They act like I care what they think.
  • Dad: I hate homework.
  • Dad: I have decided to become a politician.
  • Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.
6:02 pm

porrim-some-sugar-on-me:

lock-lamora:

duhpercy:

ads for pads these days are all about how thin and discreet pads are and how no one will ever be tell you’re wearing them wELL HOW ABOUT YOU MAKE THE PACKAGING QUIETER BECAUSE THERE’S NO FUCKING POINT IN HAVING A THIN DISCREET PAD WHEN EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU RIPPING ONE OPEN IN THE SCHOOL BATHROOM

Use the men’s room they won’t expect it

'Who the fuck is eating chips in here?'

(Source: kazoofunk, via fuckmestupid)

April 13, 2014 1:49 pm

florascence:

Florascence’s Giveaway! 

Hey Guys! After a long time and thinking process, I have decided I am going to hold a giveaway. I do not necessarily need these items anymore for various reasons, and they have just been sitting around in my room; so I thought that I may as well give them to someone who would appreciate them! So, what exactly am I giving away? 

GIVEAWAY ITEMS: 

-Harry Potter Book Collection containing books 1-4

-Daisy Eau So Fresh by Marc Jacobs gift set (contains perfume, one small tube of shower gel, and one small tube of lotion)

-Chance by Chanel

-Our Moment by One Direction

-A Pair of White Chuck Taylor High Top Converse (size 8)

-One MacBook Pro

-One iPhone 5C (color is blue)

-One iPhone 4s (color is white)

-One Sony Vaio Laptop

-One Pair of Coach Sunglasses

-One Dooney and Bourke (limited edition) Bowling Bag style Purse

-Looking for Alaska and The Fault in Our Stars both by John Green

-One Casio Gold Toned Digital Watch

-One Odd Future iPhone 4s Case

-One Ottorbox iPhone 5c Case

-One Fuji Film Polaroid Camera (with film pack)

Note: Chargers will come with every electronic device given!

GIVEAWAY RULES:

-MUST BE FOLLOWING ME (Toria) (http://florascence.tumblr.com/)

-MUST REBLOG THIS PHOTO AT LEAST ONCE

-YOU MAY REBLOG AS MANY TIMES AS YOU WANT UNTIL APRIL 24TH

-THE WINNER WILL BE CHOSEN APRIL 25 

The winner will be chosen by using a random generator on May 6th. Reblog this post as many times as you wish, but know that the more you reblog it, the higher chance you have of winning! I WILL SHIP INTERNATIONALLY IF NEEDED. If you have any questions about this giveaway, please leave it in my ask. Best of luck to all of you! 

Why am I giving these items away? Check it out http://florascence.tumblr.com/post/79085683780/reasons-as-to-why-i-am-doing-my-giveaway

(via assheol)

1:46 pm

When you meet someone equally as weird as you

mrsgambit:

livesstillposed:

sodamnrelatable:

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I feel like this is essentially how all of my friendships start.

this is how I met my boyfriend

(Source: urbanendling, via my-fart-will-go-on)

2:27 am 2:25 am

annoyeed:

windycityhigh:

Omfg yes yes yes

omgggggg 😍😍😍

(Source: tortallmagic, via yojorgey)